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caramel & cocoa

Caramel & Cocoa - cooking, parenting, fashion, diy, eating, living, a blog

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Letting kids grow

Ok - In summary I had a strong disagreement with a friend called "Jane". Her name is not really Jane but for purposes of this piece, I will call her Jane.

This does not happen often, actually it never happens because I am a very passive person. I would rather silently know and accept I am right than "get in your face" about something. I do not like to start controversy and amongst groups of people I am definitely not one of the most outspoken.

Well, I am not exactly sure how the conversation came about, but in summary, the conversation turned to two main points. First, why did I potty train A before her second birthday and second, why on earth did C only drink from a cup starting month 10.

For those of you reading who have kids, yes, in Jane's opinion A and C were far too young to have been pressured into any of those. In response, and a bit annoyed, I simply explained to her how clever my girls are. And then I proceeded to explain that it was easy. A had seen a close friend a couple months older use the potty and since then she wanted to try and use it. C, was breastfed until recently and so as a result, did not miss the traditional "bottle" when I tossed it at month 10. Jane's opinion, and this is a quote, was that it was a bit "inconsiderate" to have had my kids so closely together and that the potty training and bottle weaning pressures would manifest in some other way later on in life. I started laughing hysterically but managed to utter the word "bologna" followed by "you should see A eat with a knife and fork." I have not heard from her in 5 days.

Ok. In retrospect. I ADMIT, I handled the situation poorly. Having had the time to sit down and respond this is what I have to say. My job is to educate and teach my children skills that will help them in the "real" world. These skills are essential for them in life and will make them feel independent and a sense of accomplishment. I see every day as an opportunity to teach something new to both of them and if I were not to do that, I'd feel as if I were letting them down. It is a tough world and they need to be prepared to compete.

To you and I, drinking from a cup and using the toilet are easy tasks but to toddlers, they are big things to do. I am so proud of A for being potty-trained and yes, selfishly, it makes my life a whole lot easier. C at 10 months was capable of drinking from a cup. A bottle, like the breast, serves a purpose, to provide nutrition to those who are unable to drink from a cup. I will admit it was not easy for "me", not C, to stop breastfeeding. I loved the bond, the connection, but at the same time realized that I need to let my baby grow.

We all make decisions for our kids and all we can do is hope they are the right ones.

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