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caramel & cocoa

Caramel & Cocoa - cooking, parenting, fashion, diy, eating, living, a blog

Monday, January 30, 2012

no christmas gift from husband

It is true. My other half did not bother to get me a Christmas gift this year. Being completely forthright, I did not get him anything either ... tra-la-la-lala ... 

Being even more forthright, we, in a very unromantic fashion agreed not to get each other Christmas gifts this year, a tradition which we will likely carry on into the future.  What is most interesting are the reactions I am getting from people over this. 

-Some thought it a very reasonable choice - an avoidance of unnecessary knick-knacks, disappointing gifts, and a silly tradition. 
- Some asked if "I was really ok with that ..."
- and others just expressed concern over things being "tight" financially ...

So why did we do it? Well - it was my idea. One which He loved and embraced as soon as I made the suggestion. I just don't get it - each going out - either trying to guess what the other wants (and usually making a poor choice) or even sillier asking each other and then going out and getting said item - all involved are aware of what they are getting & how much it is going to cost ... It creates pressure, lacks surprise & I think is very unromantic. Anyway, for us, no gifts works. 

It has sparked me to write about my relationship with H who refuses to be named or pictured for this blog. I don't understand why? 90% of my readers know us all! and well at that. 

Well we are not your traditional couple. Our courtship was anything but traditional. I shamed my traditional Mexican roots by moving from California to Spain to live with my European boyfriend who I had met while he was "travelling" for a year. My only demand was that he accompany me to mass on Sundays because being a modern day European lad it was not something he generally did. Almost immediately we were on track to start a family, hoping to have four children (I wanted 5) and a dog and to wed when the kids were between 14 & 20 thus exhibiting the true meanings of "love", "marriage" and "family." 5 months before the birth of our first daughter societal pressure hit rather hard and for reasons relating to tax, immigration, schools, opportunities and family we gave in and began the more traditional path - though we still often try and go against the grain - or like to think we do. 

Being from different backgrounds both culturally and economically, him being a bit older, our views on politics and well all sorts of things (ie he does not believe in God - certainly not the way I do anyway - and I hate reading for pleasure (though I'll never tell my kids that) I don't think we could have been paired up with anyone more different. But it works well for now...!!) and I guess that is what I am trying to say. 


  1. Rob and I don't really get each other gifts, mostly it's a "I know you wanted to get this but I got it for you" kind of thing. What we do do is let the kids pick a gift for the other parent. Sometimes with our suggestions in mind haha

  2. "Anyway, for us, no gifts works." This is the most important thing! My BF and I own a house together, but have separate bank accounts. Many people think that is weird. It's all about what works for us. Can't wait til we figure out whether we want a family; I hope living 3,000 miles away is enough of a buffer from the "Why aren't you married?" screeches. :/

    Krys, I think that's a cool idea. :) Thanks for sharing, ladies!

    1. Catharine! You hit the nail on the head! Different things work and that is great. x