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caramel & cocoa

Caramel & Cocoa - cooking, parenting, fashion, diy, eating, living, a blog

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

"I do so awfully want to live"

I am torn - anxiously perplexed.

I am reading a book called That Woman, by Anne Sebba. A big feat since I never read for leisure but I am drawn to this biographical account. I went to a talk today and met the author of this book and she was describing letters and diaries that she read while trying to put the life of Wallis Simpson together and she read an excerpt from the diary of a woman called Mary. Mary wrote "I do so awfully want to live." At the time that Mary wrote those words, the year was 1941, she was dying of  breast cancer and was the mother of a two-year old son. She died soon after in England.

I find words to be very powerful and those words, have been resonating in my head all day. They seem to haunt me, even overwhelm me ... Knowing little about her, I can only think that she either wanted to live for love of her child, love of her husband or fear of death. I might be wrong.

Now as I sat down to type this I simultaneously turned on the tv and I watched the story of a beautiful girl called Jessica, aged 28  who took her own life last year in her London flat, leaving a note "Please do not cry."

I cannot help but get teary at the contrast. How beautiful it is to live. Life is extraordinary. All is Love.

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