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caramel & cocoa

Caramel & Cocoa - cooking, parenting, fashion, diy, eating, living, a blog

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Another Baby Debate?

Listen - 

It's not about "going for the boy." Two girls within 14 months of each other has been easy and economic.They can do virtually everything together, have similar interests and keep each other company for hours on end - thus freeing me up to do other things (like bake, blog and use the toilet alone - not all at once though). Sorry that last point was totally inappropriate and unnecessary. 

At first, having a newborn and a 14 month-old was about survival. In the first 6 months my goal was to get through the day having fed and changed both children. That was it! The house, my appearance, friends, H, leaving the house (or even bathing) didn't really matter. I was not instantly a natural mother, nor experienced in what babies want or need. It was a difficult time for me and I ashamedly admit that the television was ALWAYS on. I mean ALWAYS. ALWAYS. 

Life is different now. It is pleasant and incredibly civilized. The girls now at 2 & 3 know the rules and boundaries (though we do have the occasional tantrum). But the day to day stuff is enjoyable. We rarely turn on the television and we pack our days with activities, trips, visits, tea parties and I don't even mind taking them to the grocery store or to my papsmear appointment (Oh yes. I did! ). They get me. And most importantly, I get them.

H & I also manage to sleep. Sleep is important. Very important. 

And well, while it has all gotten immensely easier, I am still desperate to have a third and go back to the sleepless nights, breastfeeding, crying and chaos. I am anxious about it because, the easier it gets, the less likely I will want to transition, once again, to the "baby " stage. I fear that I'll reach a point where I throw in the towel and regret it when I am 80!

Last month, H, the more reasonable person, rationally stated the reasons why timing isn't very good and what steps we should take before considering a third, explaining how it might upset our family rhythm and frankly might not be the best decision for the family unit. Being a mature adult, I had my hands over my ears and I was shouting "nanny nanny boo boo. I can't hear you."  He's quite happy with 2 kids.

The debate continues and continues ... and I can hear the ticking of my biological clock getting louder and stronger.

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